This is it, kids! The one and only Sabriel-themed filk of Hercules’ ‘I Won’t Say I’m In Love’!
Gabriel, as sung by Aluminium
Greek chorus of one, as sung by Lifeinabox66
The faint, arrhythmic strumming of a ukulele, by Lifeinabox66
Aaaaaand lyrics, by Lifeinabox66!
GABRIEL: If there’s a priiize for unmitigated awesome…
I guess I’ve already won, like, every single one of those ever issued.
No Sam is worth the aggravation!
I’m not attached – and I do not miss you!
CHORUS: Who’d you think you’re fooling?
He means more than heaven to you,
Thought he needed schooling,
Then he turned around and taught you,
(GABRIEL: Shut uuuuuuuup!)
CHORUS: Destiny’s a choice and,
Vessels have a voice,
How could you help but fall?
GABRIEL: Fuck you! Not fair! This is crazy – the hell?
CHORUS: You think his hair is amazing as well!
GABRIEL: You’re dead, I swear! I won’t say I’m in love.
The kid’s a temperamental douchebag,
A spoiled brat with a death wish,
I’m not surprised that Lucy wants him,
He’s got the brains of your average goldfish.
CHORUS: You’re not even trying,
Can it with the indignation,
How could we be lying?
We’re in your imagination!
(GABRIEL: Shut uuuuup!)
CHORUS: Everyone can see it,
Hon, we guarantee it
That you’ve got a thing for Sam!
GABRIEL: Give me a break, I’m not halfway in love!
CHORUS: Give up, give in, you’re head over your pinions!
GABRIEL: It’s your mistake; would you call this ‘in love’?
CHORUS: Pipe down! Relax! Check the facts: you’re in love!
GABRIEL: You’ve got some gall; I won’t say it,
I’ll kill you all – I won’t say it!
CHORUS: Calm down! He’ll call,
Cause guess what? He’s in love.
GABRIEL: Shuuuuut uuuuup…
I must be crazed…
Doesn’t mean I’m in love…